What can I say about Jack Herbert that hasn't already been said? A paradoxical cultural phenomenon with the taut body of a thoroughbred, he has come to define what it means to talk too much and drink like a champion.
A gypsy childhood migrating between England and New Zealand gave young Jack a healthy distrust of anything new or different.
He spent 3 years at Warwick University, studying something vaguely Economics-shaped and honing his razor-sharp wit. Carefully balancing academic mediocrity and social ineptitude, he also found time to churn out some half-baked music "journalism" for the university rag.
It's impossible to describe the surprise Jack felt on April 2nd 2003, when he woke up in Nagoya, Japan. Hours before, he had been happily frolicing in the meadows of England, when he was brutally coshed over the back of the head and bundled onto JAL flight 342: The Eikawa Teacher Express. He wandered Japan's streets in disbelief for a few months, but gradually realised that nothing was different in Japan anyway, apart from him.
In May 2004, he began his daring and stealthy escape by moving to Kyoto, one step closer to Kansai International Airport.
His hopes of a lucrative career in toboganning have been dashed by a niggling frenulum injury, but Jack's ambitions still burn bright. A sparkling media career of proof-reading and making tea beckons...