Note: A few of these have been altered or completely revised since this list was first published.

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"My candy girl My cats are truly evil. Truly." 

Truly? Do tell! 

"So, today, I sort of left this jar of honey on the counter. Chloe - seeing this jar on the counter - decides that it's threatening her and she's gotta go kill it. Except it's a jar of honey. Made of glass." Oh my! Isn't that...something! You will have many cats before you die, maybe as many as 60 at the same time, crammed into your little apartment. I could tell that you were a stereotypical cat-owner just looking at your title-banner. You also own many stuffed animals. You probably read romance novels too. Why exactly do you think the Internet needs you? What do you have to say? I don't know if you are married, but you ARE unmarriageable. I wish I could bother reading/quoting more of your tripe. You Blog is banal and so are you. Have a nice day! :-) D-

Fashionable Chaos
Somebody thinks they are clever. Somebody sees herself as The Witty Internet Columnist. You know what? Housewives (I'm assuming this is one), not all of them, just the stupid ones, tend to get separated from the real world a bit. They don't understand how people are, or how real life works and they get delusions about their own talent, their own ability to understand things. They read Dean Koontz and think that they can write, they watch TV news and think that they have opinions that other people would not summarily dismiss. They read a few books to their idiot children and think, oh, I could write one of these. Editor's slushpiles are full of the words of deluded, naive, numbskulls like you. Pink templates are a direct indicator of intelligence/imagination/originality. D-

"Ok I am absolutely stuffed of delectible Thai food. Heaven!" How can I describe the delight I felt when I first found this Blog, and that first line in particular? I will take it easy on this female because I am certain that she has some kind of mental defect. That line is straight out of The Simpsons, that little fat kid who says,"I'm full of chocolate!" She even looks like the fat kid! I'm telling you, there's something about this Blog that is just creepily easy, it's like beating up a morbidly obese person. You get a C for amusing me. C

From the Blog: "I have not blogged for a while but will do more regularly now. My wife Anna is now living with me, and now I have grabbed a template that I am happy with I will play around with it to make it more my own......later all'" Looking at your wife, I think that she is a very smart, very ambitious woman. Also lucky to find someone dumb and desperate enough to provide her with a free ticket to the 1st world. To think, all she had to do was chat and webcam for a little bit. I'm beginning to wonder if you could, in fact, be the abject moron the content on this site would imply. It's one thing to be a sucker for the oldest Internet scam, it's entirely another to actually tell people and to post your wife's pic. You are joking, right? This is just some kind of clever prank...right? Also, your site is pink, which means you should be shot and your body impaled on a stake in my front yard for the crows to feast on, good night. E-

Some chick has a pink theme on her site! How awesomely original! How imaginative this Blogger must be! Is there anything that says boring, chatty airhead quite like being a fan of quilting/shopping? You can just hear the incessant yapping when you look at this website. I'll bet this one likes The OC, and word-puzzles, and spends a lot of effort trying not to think about what she sees in the mirror every morning. The trivial mind in females is represented most clearly in people who like unintellectual methodical activities and stupid, pretty things, I think it has to do with some kind of therapy, repetitive crap soothes people prone to hysteria, I imagine. Stupid women are always prone to hysteria. She curses on this Blog and I'll bet she doesn't in real life, but who cares? D

Laane's Blog
This woman uses dolls generated at some site on the Internet that I won't link to. Lame, lame, lame, but not the lamest I've seen (sigh). I have now surfed maybe 50 sites in a row that are too mediocre to bash completely, or good enough that I am beginning to be bored by okayness. Have the lesser minds stopped posting? Anyway, from this site:"My health is crap, which is a pity, because I always overflow with ideas." A pity to whom? And what ideas? Your Blog is a journal of your boring-ass life. Ideas like the GIF of flowers you gave yourself on your birthday? If I resort to giving myself GIFs of flowers then maybe I will be the loser you all say I am. Ok, I was wrong, the lesser minds haven't stopped posting.

I find nothing even remotely interesting about the content of this Blog, but it is good looking (Yay for modblog!). It's the Blog of a emetophobic woman, meaning she's afraid of vomiting. I'm not going to say anything bad, gimps get a free pass today. Except for the intellectual cripples, those I piss on as usual. B (For the template).

Tony Francis
Wow! Somebody f*cked up their Blogger template bad! From today's post: " Do you ever stop and think 'why am I here?', not here at this Blog, but here in this life, on this planet. I have been asking myself this question a lot of late. Once this question has been offered up to the conscious mind, it presents other questions, such as:- Does my life impact the lives of those who know me?" Blahblahblah. He's not only a great web-designer, he's deep too! Note the buttons at the top of the page. Fancies himself a writer, I bet. Middle-aged housewife writer-hobbyists come in both sexes, folks. Something tells me that this is the kind of man that keeps stuffed toys on his bed. One of the side-effects of Stephen King's success is that everybody who has ever read him thinks they can write. Yes, your ego is over-inflated, but you don't really believe it. D

Magickal Musings
Part of blogging is the desire that people want to hear what you have to say. Usually they don't, usually what they want is a reciprocal link, BUT, if they see something they like, they just might stick around and read a post or two. Anyway, you never assume that anybody is interested in your life, if you have time to Blog, 9 times out of 10, you life is f*cking boring. As is this Livejournal style self-indulgent puke. If you want to journal keep it to yourself until you actually see something interesting or you have actual insight. Cartoony graphics are starting to bore me. The post on 1/27/05 is titled "Crack Kills" and it's about somebody's buttcrack. Haha. -D
This site seems to be written by a busy mom. Think of all the interesting women in history, Lucrezia Borgia, Marie Curie, Jane Goodall, how many of them Blogged about being a mom? Yes, that's right. Not one. Mom's are nice, but unless they're our moms, or unless they're going to kill their kids (and Blog about it), most of us are not interested*. Of course other mom's might find this crap interesting, good for them. Cute template. I hate cute templates. D *unless you're a MILF and posting pics.

Hold on, I'm thinking of a way to call this woman white-trash while being politically correct. I'll come up with something in a minute. I'll give a certain amount of credit for her template being well thought out, organized. She helpfully links to a bunch of Blogs that I already hate, just looking at their titles. The things you like reading are a reflection of your own personality. Of course, it is all excessive. I'm guessing she came from a poor, probably rural background, the affectations in her writing, the picture of their new car, it all says "Shee-it! I got me some money!" Note all the references to money, buying, things bought, and the lack of anything thought...low-grade human being all the way, baby. E

Toast99 (again)
Anyway, this is a different site by a guy I reviewed way back in last week. Honestly, I don't quite know what to make of it. It freaked me out when I first came up on it, then I saw the teeth, then the eyes, it's a good thing I wasn't drunk. Why would anyone put this on the Internet? I'm serious, man. If she's so lovely, why are you hiding her? This looks like that Sigourney Weaver alien under a mosquito net. Just grinning at me. "Lovely" as compared to Evander Holyfield, maybe? Can't tell from this pic. Anyway there is nothing else here to rate. E

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