German conglomerate agrees to acquire 51% in the satirical news group and promises to introduce
tighter controls for increased efficiency and attention to detail
DUBAI, UAE, 6 Nov 2006 - The Dubai Enquirer, the world’s only 7-star news source, is pleased to announce that after several months of negotiations, it has found a financial investor. The German conglomerate, Krankenhaus Kartoffelsalat AG, yesterday signed an agreement to take a 51% stake in the satirical news group, giving it control over The Dubai Enquirer and all of its subsidiary organisations. Financial terms of the agreement were not disclosed.
“I am delighted that we have been able to come to suitable agreement with The Dubai Enquirer,” said Hans Gruber, spokesperson for Krankenhaus Kartoffelsalat AG yesterday. “Under this new partnership we promise to ensure that The Dubai Enquirer is delivered with ruthless efficiency and attention to detail.
“It is with an eye towards maximising, streamlining and ultimately over-enhancing the end user experience of the DE that we make our investment in the paper. For too long, the intrinsic satire value index (ISVI) of each word in the publication has been running at a nugatory 58%. We aim, with careful planning, stringent timekeeping and razor sharp bathroom hygiene, to raise this return to 73% by December. In other words, each single word in the Dubai Enquirer will be 15% more satirical than before.”
“With our new German backers, The Dubai Enquirer should have all the resources necessary to propel into the next stage of its international growth,” said Clive, editor of The Dubai Enquirer. “We have been assured by Krankenhaus Kartoffelsalat AG that Dubai Enquirer staff will remain in their positions and the drive to improve efficiency at all levels will not involve a downsizing of our workforce, but rather a strategic realignment within each department.”
The next issue of The Dubai Enquirer is expected in the coming week.
For more information please contact Dwayne - dwayne@dubaienquirer.com
or visit the official website - www.dubaienquirer.com